None of us are free until all of us are free!
November 8, 2009- My Year
First Hey to Everyone!! You can call me Nikki or Shanti (both are nicknames)
Haven't been on here in a year and in attempt to avoid the homework I have to do, I begin to find other things to seek out to catch my attention. I happen to see a recent email about sending Reiki and healing energy to Ft.Hood because of the terrible incident that happen- very important. I send my prayers and blessings to all the familys and to everyone who has been affected.
And I opened my account on here and successfully got my password correct!! Of course no one should avoid homework and I promise to get back to it :-) but i''m also happy to be back on here.
Well, is Nov8,2009. I want to tell a story
From Sept 05' to Nov 08' I had some crazy not postive experiences happen to me dealing relationships I had with guys and I never did seek out my family for support. It could always had been worse but it dealt with trusting guys who didn't have my best interest, unhealthy boyfriends, short ended relationships, sexual assault, tempted sexual assault, being asked to have $@x for money (i did not), feeling used and misunderstood, miscarriage, and on top of all that being sensitive to everything around. I was always fighting for light but at the same time a little dark inside. I called myself an impaired emapth.
I have to say that with one of the situations I was in, attending Mrs Linda's Lightworker Intensive over a year ago (its been a while) in Houston TX helped me ALOT. Helped me get rid of a guy in paticular. And it HELPED me on my journey into a much healthier brighter path.
Okay so, Normally every November the first or second weekend in the month I go to a Women's Retreat, been going every since Nov 01'. The retreats would be AMAZING and just really focusing on God and his healings. After my miscarriage in Oct08' before the W-Retreat Nov08' devastated me. I went to the Retreat looking for something, looking to find a change, something to stand out that would give me direction and for the first time, I was in the mist of many strong woman and felt lost. So from the weekend of that Retreat I said to myself "I will make a change" and so I promised myself, Not God because I wasnt sure if I could keep my promise, that I would be abstinent until the next retreat in November09'. So I said from Nov 6, 2008 (beginning of last year's retreat) to Nov 8, 2009 (last day of women's retreat).
Well today is November 8, 2009 (the retreat was cancelled so i did not go). However I was at church today and I was anoited by my Pastor. And I MADE IT A WHOLE YEAR. A month more than a year but from my committed goal is a year.
I took time out for myself, reevaluated my actions and my past and walked slowly but surely in a new light. I am not perfect and have long way to go. But my past does not dictate my furture. And I have learned how to be more discerning when it comes to guys and to seek out help from my family and to have healthy loving group of friends. I have learned alot about my strengths and weaknesses. And no one has to walk this journey alone. I am not a fully repaired empath but I have peace.
My goal was to leave relationships alone for the entire year also but at 7months I met this really great guy that I still greatly enjoy talking to. So I'm not in a serious relationship (not ready for one and definitely am not interested in any flings) and I have been taking my time getting to know anyone that comes my way.
So now i'm just focused on myself, work, school, helping family and others. It has gotten easier to discern the energy around me becaue I now know what good energy feels like. I am learning to know when it is my emotions or feelings of those around me.
Today is Nov 8, 2009 and I made it and will continue to walk into the Gold-White Light. I wanted change and a door out of darkness and so I was given the ability to create one.
-Shanti "Nikki" :-)
Haven't been on here in a year and in attempt to avoid the homework I have to do, I begin to find other things to seek out to catch my attention. I happen to see a recent email about sending Reiki and healing energy to Ft.Hood because of the terrible incident that happen- very important. I send my prayers and blessings to all the familys and to everyone who has been affected.
And I opened my account on here and successfully got my password correct!! Of course no one should avoid homework and I promise to get back to it :-) but i''m also happy to be back on here.
Well, is Nov8,2009. I want to tell a story
From Sept 05' to Nov 08' I had some crazy not postive experiences happen to me dealing relationships I had with guys and I never did seek out my family for support. It could always had been worse but it dealt with trusting guys who didn't have my best interest, unhealthy boyfriends, short ended relationships, sexual assault, tempted sexual assault, being asked to have $@x for money (i did not), feeling used and misunderstood, miscarriage, and on top of all that being sensitive to everything around. I was always fighting for light but at the same time a little dark inside. I called myself an impaired emapth.
I have to say that with one of the situations I was in, attending Mrs Linda's Lightworker Intensive over a year ago (its been a while) in Houston TX helped me ALOT. Helped me get rid of a guy in paticular. And it HELPED me on my journey into a much healthier brighter path.
Okay so, Normally every November the first or second weekend in the month I go to a Women's Retreat, been going every since Nov 01'. The retreats would be AMAZING and just really focusing on God and his healings. After my miscarriage in Oct08' before the W-Retreat Nov08' devastated me. I went to the Retreat looking for something, looking to find a change, something to stand out that would give me direction and for the first time, I was in the mist of many strong woman and felt lost. So from the weekend of that Retreat I said to myself "I will make a change" and so I promised myself, Not God because I wasnt sure if I could keep my promise, that I would be abstinent until the next retreat in November09'. So I said from Nov 6, 2008 (beginning of last year's retreat) to Nov 8, 2009 (last day of women's retreat).
Well today is November 8, 2009 (the retreat was cancelled so i did not go). However I was at church today and I was anoited by my Pastor. And I MADE IT A WHOLE YEAR. A month more than a year but from my committed goal is a year.
I took time out for myself, reevaluated my actions and my past and walked slowly but surely in a new light. I am not perfect and have long way to go. But my past does not dictate my furture. And I have learned how to be more discerning when it comes to guys and to seek out help from my family and to have healthy loving group of friends. I have learned alot about my strengths and weaknesses. And no one has to walk this journey alone. I am not a fully repaired empath but I have peace.
My goal was to leave relationships alone for the entire year also but at 7months I met this really great guy that I still greatly enjoy talking to. So I'm not in a serious relationship (not ready for one and definitely am not interested in any flings) and I have been taking my time getting to know anyone that comes my way.
So now i'm just focused on myself, work, school, helping family and others. It has gotten easier to discern the energy around me becaue I now know what good energy feels like. I am learning to know when it is my emotions or feelings of those around me.
Today is Nov 8, 2009 and I made it and will continue to walk into the Gold-White Light. I wanted change and a door out of darkness and so I was given the ability to create one.
-Shanti "Nikki" :-)
Comment
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Comment by Deborah Bozek on November 20, 2009 at 5:42pm -
Hi Nikki,
Thanks for sharing your story. I met you at the Houston Lightworker's class and we had lunch one day. In your story you said, "I was in the mist of many strong woman and felt lost." I just want to say how wonderful and strong you are - and I know these things about people. It's not the mistakes we make in life that define us, it is how we go forth and recover from them that makes us strong and you are definitely strong. We ALL make mistakes - many of them, picking yourself up and redirecting is the hard part that makes you into a great person. Sometimes we don't feel it on the inside but to stay in school, to make such a strong commitment at such a young age for abstinence is amazing and I am sure not many people could do it so pat yourself on the back and always remember to compliment yourself.
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Comment by Linda Schiller-Hanna, HOST on November 9, 2009 at 5:29am -
Wow, Nikki!
I am so touched with your story. I went through a similar time in the mid-90's.
My heart is joyous that you found inner strength and had the wisdom to use it.
I particularly appreciate your loving heart that shared your story with us...so we may
all be inspired. Big hug, little sister!
Joy to the world! Hope you can come to our convention...
details at: www.lightworker22.com/convention
Love ya,
Linda
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